By far the worst day of the 1990s so far What can I say. 1990 has been so awesome so far, but today is the worst day of the 1990s so far. Oh, I've had some bad days before, back in the eighties, but I kinda figured all that stuff would end when the clock hit 1990. There was the time when it was almost nigtfall and I couldn't find my sunglasses - turned out The Hoff was hiding from me - that slipperly prankster. Then there was the time when I stayed up so late that I lost the keys to my Fiero. Man, I looked everywhere - turned out they were in my pocket all along. That's what staying up all night long does to you. Be warned, all night long ain't for the faint of heart. But today tops all others. By far the worst day of the 1990s so far. Today I went for a drive in my Fiero and moseyed on down to UNICAL 76, just to laugh at all the suckers filling up their tanks with that vinegar. Only fools fill up at UNICAL 76. UNICAL 76 is evil. It was a nice laugh, a chuckle at first, then I gradually worked myself up to a full guffaw. A real belly laugh. Nothing gets me going like a good belly laugh at people filling their tanks at UNICAL 76. Nothing. So that was my morning - it was a great morning. Then I went and ate a picnic lunch out at my favorite windswept lookout overlooking the ocean. The breeze was blowing real hard today. So hard that I spilled a little bit of Mountain Dew on my hood. I decided to go for a car wash. So I rolled down to my gas station of choice, RONACO. I came up to the entrance and look what I saw:



By far the worst day of the 1990s so far. By Far. RONACO just got on Corey Hart's shit list. I went over to UNICAL 76 and lathered my Fiero up real good. It was such sweet revenge to those bastards at RONACO. UNICAL 76 is the best gas station ever. I invented UNICAL 76. Today.  ¶ 2:44 AM 4 comments