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Tuesday, January 09, 1990
  Welcome to the Future
So, by now, everybody knows that I invented both the Fiero and the future. But few people know that I was offered the role of Marty McFly in the movie 'Back to the Future'.

At first I was really excited, and figured I could fit in a starring role in a feature Hollywood film between my desinging Fieros, crash-testing Fieros, building Fieros, and buying every single Fiero. It seemed like the perfect fit. But then some young upstart director, Zemekis or something like that, told me he'd selected the perfect car for the movie: a DeLorean.

When I heard that I was so angry I almost crapped my pants. A DeLorean didn't really 'McFly' with Corey. It took a few minutes to regain my composure and sanity, but when I finally did, I looked this Zemekis guy straight in the face, lowered my sunglasses and said, "Buster, if you think Corey's gonna drive anything other than a Fiero you might as well go flux capacitate yourself."

And the rest is history.

They gave the role to someone else, Samantha Fox or something and I went on to unprecedetned success with both the Fiero and my career.

It was such typical Corey Hart style: I never surrender - especially for a DeLorean. Ugh, just the though of a Delorean makes my skin crawl. Almost as much as on of those XR4ti things. Disgusting.

Speaking of NOT-disgusting, now that it's the nineties, I'm totally into my latest Fiero creation: The Electric Fiero.

We all know that by the year 2000 every single person on Earth will be driving a Fiero. That's just common knowledge. But what you probably didn't know is that ol' Corey's got a few tricks up his sleeve. Solar panel tricks. Stay tuned. Stay tuned for the future.

Man, I'm so glad that I invented the future.

The future is so awesome.



 
Comments:
Lou Reed and Corey Hart should hang out and be awesome together. And by "be awesome" Lou Reed means "do drugs".
 
I get all hot and bothered when I see a Fiero.
 
I can't even tell you how fulfilling it is to see you, wearing your sunglasses at night. You invented love, I know it's true.
 
Lou Reed gets all hot and bothered when he sees Pants and Chang in the same comments section.

Lou Reed realizes that Marriedman is no longer Marriedman Chang, but Lou Reed is still going to call him that.
 
dude, turbo is rad. Sometimes I use the word radicool instead of radical. It's like putting the two raddest words together. Can I have a ride in your radicool car? Oh, and I still have the first issue of Tiger Beat when you were on the cover.
 
i can't hide any ho's in my fiero. there's only tiny compartments for putting my hair gel, colt-45, michael jordan cologne and colostomy bag.
 
dude, choiceicool is so tubular. Hey Corey, since you are the shit and invented everything, I'm assuming you invented the mullet and shit too. Do you think mine is rocking?
 
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Hey, this is Corey Hart. Yeah, I know, I can't believe it either: I'm so awesome. The internet is awesome. The future is awesome. The Fiero is awesome. I invented awesome - in 1983 - right before I invented the Fiero.

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Send fan mail to:
OFFICIAL Corey Hart Drives a Fiero fan club
PO Box 55067
Montreal, Quebec
H2T 3E2
Canada

Read mail from my fans here.
I love getting mail. I invented mail.

You can send me an email too - but only if it's awesome.

coreyhartdrivesafiero(at)gmail.com

<-- I invented syndication.

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Corey Hart's buddies:
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