My awesome fan mail ***********

Dear John,Why are you always tryin ta be more of a presence than Daryl? I mean, we have to see your WHOLE body, when we only get to see HALF of Daryl. Face it, you are second fiddle, man. Just like Dave Stewart and Andrew Ridgeley.

Dude. I don't know who you are - but let me give you a little advice: Hall AND Oates are rad. There is no such thing as a second fiddle in their 'pre-definition of the term' metrosexuality. Hall is #1 - Oates is #1. They are the source of endless inspiration to me and have my eternal devotion. I love Hall and Oates. They are the best - except when it comes to Fieros. They suck at Fieros. I invented Hall and Oates sucking at Fieros.

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Nice job stealing pics from other websites

Yes, it was a nice job - if I can say so myself. Nice job you made in leaving anonymous comments on my site. If you're going to steal pictures or leave a comment you should at least own up to it. Corey Hart invented stealing pictures from other websites.

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Whoa! I had a fiero once! Whoa! I got it stuck in the crick in Toronto, Ohio! Almost got swept away, too! Whoa!

Cricks are so rad. I invented Cricks. And Toronto. And Ohio.

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Corey Hart is the object of Lou Reed's obsession. Also, Lou Reed like saxaphones.

You know who invented saxaphones? I did.

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dude, choiceicool is so tubular. Hey Corey, since you are the shit and invented everything, I'm assuming you invented the mullet and shit too. Do you think mine is rocking?

I do think your mullet is rocking and I like it. However, Corey Hart hates all other mullets and believes that mullets are associated with Camaros. I hate Camaros. I did not invent the Camaro. The guy who invented the Camaro had a pack of smokes rolled up in his sleeves. Corey Hart never rolls smokes up in his sleeves, but I love cigarettes. Cigarettes are the greatest thing on earth. Besides me. And the Fiero.

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dude, turbo is rad. Sometimes I use the word radicool instead of radical. It's like putting the two raddest words together. Can I have a ride in your radicool car? Oh, and I still have the first issue of Tiger Beat when you were on the cover.

Tiger Beat is so choice. Tiger beat is more than radicool - it is choiceicool. I forgot to tell you about my new invention: It is a popiscle in the shape of a Fiero and it is called Choiceicool - because it is so choice and so cool. I invented choiceicool.

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Lou Reed gets all hot and bothered when he sees Pants and Chang in the same comments section. Lou Reed realizes that Marriedman is no longer Marriedman Chang, but Lou Reed is still going to call him that.

Hey Lou Reed. So happy to see you again. I love when you write to me. You can come for a ride in my Fiero anytime. I know you hate Fieros, but you've never been in Corey Hart's Fiero. The traction will blow your mind. Yup, we're talking mind-blowing traction here. Most powerful drug of all time. Watch-out: you might get addicted. Addicted to traction.

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I can't even tell you how fulfilling it is to see you, wearing your sunglasses at night. You invented love, I know it's true. - Marriedman Turbo Charged!

Hey Marriedman. So happy to hear from you. Turbo is the raddest thing of all time. Glad that you're glad that I invented love. Love is so sweet. Love is like a midnight moon shaded by a pair of sweet sunglasses. Love is rad as turbo. I invented turbo.

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I get all hot and bothered when I see a Fiero. --Melliferous Pants

I get all hot and bothered when I read my awesome fan mail....at night. What's your sign? I'm a Gemini. Maybe we're twins. Twins of radicalness. I invented radical twins. I also invented hot. Does that bother you?

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Lou Reed and Corey Hart should hang out and be awesome together. And by "be awesome" Lou Reed means "do drugs". --Lou Reed

Interesting proposal Lou Reed. Drugs are awesome. But not that awesome. Corey Hart didn't invent drugs - Lou Reed invented drugs. The only drug that's ever got Corey Hart high enough is burning rubber. Burning rubber from the rear tires of my Fiero. Corey gets so high on burning rubber he needs to slap 'er in reverse and go back just to suck up the fumes and think about how awesome burnt rubber fumes are. Burning rubber is awesome. I invented burning rubber.

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Interesting.
Are you a long-time fan of Corey's?
Thanks for this. I'll post it. - Stephen A.

You better believe I'm a long time fan of Corey's. I 've known corey longer than anybody - seeing how I am Corey. I invented Corey Hart fans.

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*hey corey! a fan here !!!*
hi corey!-----
of course my e-mail be AWESOME!
i saw your blog.
i'm not sure if its you who wrote
that stuff. it sounds like someone
wrote this just to make fun of you!
so you really drive a fiero?
that's cool in my world!
i'm stuck in the 80's anyway.....
i'm 29 years old and live in michigan.
funny that i saw your blog.
i was watching some old mtv awards show.
you were presenting and award to cyndi lauper.
is that an english accent i hear from you?
and....hey! i enjoy your songs....(now) and (then)
and corey! where are you livin' now? you had such a
big window back then....i'm suprised that you didn't
keep going! cyndi lauper did the same thing!
i hope to meet you someday.
i'm still a fan!
and i will treat you like a normal person.
i don't possess any star-struck-ness! (is that a
word)??? lol
i grew up watching mtv from day ONE and am baffled at
what it has become! it isn't so good anymore!
--BRIAN

Thanks Brian, I love me and cyndi lauper too.
I invented cyndi lauper. We're both so awesome.
Do you drive a Fiero?  ¶ 1:00 AM